The Easy Way to Pay

Mr. Obama,

It has recently come to my attention that you have secured enough delegates to become the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. Congratulations, this is quite an accomplishment. Winning the jackpot that is the nomination is an amazing feat and I wouldn't want to take away from that. But...

Well, you see, I had hopes of hitting the jackpot too, or possibly winning the lottery, and to be honest, it hasn't panned out so well. One could argue that I would have a greater chance of winning the lottery if I actually purchased a ticket, but I maintain that the statistical odds of winning are nearly identical either way.

In any case, I seem to have incurred some debt in pursuit of the jackpot. It currently stands at $200,000. This is a large sum of money, and I was hoping, since you won the jackpot and have some friends who think they might be holding the winning ticket, that you would pay down my debt for me. As I mentioned, I had every intention on winning the jackpot. Not winning never even crossed my mind, since I am a very positive thinker and I always have a positive attitude with a dogged persistence, even in the face of complete and total failure.

Anywhom, I figured that for you and your friends, 200 G's is a pretty small amount that could easily be wiped from the slate. If you can share the jackpot, you know where to find me. I look forward to seeing you or your signature on a check to me in the near future. Good luck with that President thing.

Sincerely,

Dan